I'm not really sure who named our city, but it fits. Eden Prairie truly is a beautiful place. Rolling hills, verdant dells and valleys, ponds, streams, lakes. Lovely. Especially now. This is my favorite time of year in Minnesota. There's an old joke that says Minnesota has two seasons: 10 months of Winter and 2 months of Misquito. However, a well-kept secret is that Minnesota is a mild, comfortable place to live from mid April until about late October. The spring is in the 60s and 70s with low humidity, the summer days rarely exceed 90, and the fall....Well, the fall... it's gorgeous. Even the first snow, leading up to and through the major holidays, is a wonderful time.
That's why it's been such a joy to bring Cory home to Minnesota when we have. Arriving in mid August allowed him a couple weeks at our local pool enjoying summer days, and now, with school a week off, you can catch a slight hint of fall in the morning air. Not cold, just a little cooler than what July and August mornings bring.
And he is loving it all.
With all that's been going on in our home, it's been a huge relief and joy to see Cory acclimating so well to his new environment and home. As many of you may not know, recently Suzanne was diagnosed with breast cancer. Thankfully, it has not metastisized beyond the breast and the two nodes directly next to it, and the prognosis is good (i.e. only a 15% chance of recurrence within three years). However, she started chemo and will follow that with surgery right after the New Year. Yes, a lot is going on in the Duncan home.
It would be impossible for me to relay even the major news in the confines of this blog, but I'll try to hit the key points.
Cory is such an energetic, naturally passionate and joyful boy--he has been a real light of wonder and happiness to us in just the short 2.5 weeks we have had him home in the states. Other than an occasional crying episode (once a day at the most), he is getting along smashingly with his siblings and with the neighborhood kids. And most of the time, when he does get upset, it's because of a language breakdown or misunderstanding. Even there, he is learning English at a very rapid pace. When I took him to the medical clinic in Kiev, the doctor could only get him to count to four in Russian. Two days ago, he walked up to me and counted to 10 in English, unprompted! Wow, flash cards really do work, folks. Our family is a walking testimony to the usefulness of picture books, flash cards, and a lot of repetition and explanataion of things in the house, at the store, in the yard. Etc.
Yesterday I took him to Hannah's junior high school open house and he had his first glimpse of a drinking fountain. What an amazing invention! He just could not stop oohing and ahhing over this beautiful little machine that dispenses crisp, clean water--whenever you like! Thankfully, the junior high halls only had four drinking fountains, otherwise we would have been shutting the place down along with the night janitor.
Kylie and Hannah have had a lot of fun "showing Cory off" to the neighborhood kids--and I mean a lot of kids. On our street and the street next to us, we have around 20 kids ages 10 and under. You walk outside and it looks like a summer camp, with kids running everywhere, kicking balls, riding bikes, etc. For the first few days upon arriving in the states, Cory was just completely overwhelmed by it all, and ran from one bike to the next, from one ball to the next. i just think his circuits were blown. He particularly took a liking to anything to do with trucks or motorcycles, and got a hold of a neighbors toy "monster truck" that makes a loud revving noise and plays Queen's "We Will Rock You" at one volume level--loud. Fun for him, but after about two hours of him pushing the button, I'm ready to tell Freddy Mercury (God rest his soul) and the Boys to take a break. (I actually had to wait til he fell asleep to return the truck, otherwise he would have wrestled me for it.)
Overall, I think all three girls are adjusting well. Naturally, Zoe and Cory, being the same size and closest in age, do tend to bicker on occasion. So far, though, we've only had to referee a couple of arguments over toys and food, and we've had no major hitting or kicking conflagrations. I've been spending a lot of time just hanging out with Zoe, and I think she is making the adjustment. Last night she told me she loved having a big brother and that he is "a lot of fun to play with--most of the time."
With Suz going through chemo, a new adopted boy in the house, and the girls (and Cory) getting ready for school, you could say that we've all been a bit overwhelmed. Thankfully, our families have really stepped up to the plate, and for the past three weeks, we've had a relative with us helping out with the kids, meals, etc. My sisters even made a public calendar where folks in our families can go to sign up to come stay with us. Right now, we will have a "family helper" staying with us almost continuously through early November. A HUGE relief and help. Also, one of my best friends has set up a meals calendar for local folks to cook and deliver meals, which is both humbling and wonderful. And for those who live long-distance, he had the excellent idea of having people send certificates for us to pick up food at a place called Let's Dish (you can pick up a week's worth of meals in just 15 minutes).
Even though it's a difficult time for us as a family, the "adoption part" of our lives is going better than what expected. It will be very interesting to see how Cory takes to kindergarten, which he will begin a week from today. The great news is that there is a Russian community in our town, and consequently his elementary school employs a Russian-language ESL teacher. So, even though he's going "full immersion" with English, he will be working with the ESL teacher as well.
Okay - sorry if this post is sort of "all over the map" - I am just grabbing time when I can get my hands on it. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. We appreciate them very much!
The Duncans
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Monday, August 13, 2007
Home again
We made it home. What a journey, from start to finish. I believe the last time I posted was a week and a half ago, when I had about four days left in the waiting period. A world and eternity seems like it's passed since then. Where to begin?
On the final day of the waiting period Igor and I went clothes shopping for Jenya, as we knew that when we picked him up at the orphange he would not even own the clothes on his back. So, a cabbie steered us to an excellence little children's clothing store. What an experience shopping for a
boy. At that point, since Jenya wasn't with us, I had to use a tape measure that I'd marked the day before with his dimensions: foot, waist, inseam, etc. That was an interesting experience, but in the end, we were able to get him about 2.5 full sets of clothes.
Off to the orphanage we went. And sure enough, when we arrived for the big occassion of taking him away, he was wearing the sandles I'd bought him a few days before, and some underwear. Seeing him there, waiting to see the clothes I'd bought for him, reminded me of the value of human life in God's eyes. Here's this little guy who literally did not own the clothes on his back (when I dressed him in his new underwear and clothes, the old underwear stayed behind at the orphanage), standing before us just the way the good Lord made him. Literally owning nothing in the world. Not a toy, a shirt, or a pair of pants. Nothing. Yet, here my family and I had travelled half way round the world, spent tens of thousands of dollars, and more than a month of time away from home and hearth, to find, adopt, and bring into our family this little 40-pound, 6-year-old guy who, back to back, is just an inch taller than my 4 year old daughter. But it's not the money, time or travel that marks his worth. His is a value beyond human estimation or demarcation. Naked we enter this world, and naked we leave it. The value comes with us as we enter, and leaves as we depart--everything inanimate accumulated in the middle means nothing really.
Once Cory joined me, things moved very fast--suffice to say we had about four whirlwind days, starting in Mariupol with a two-hour plane flight on a 50s-era Soviet double-prop plane (and I do mean plane, not jet). It was Cory's first flight--which he'll probably never forget because he threw up three times. Did I mention we only had 2.5 sets of clothes? Did I also mention the fact that the cabin was not equipped with any airsick bags? That's right, do the math....
After that inauspicious introduction to the world of commercial flight, Cory and I arrived in Kiev and hit the ground running, to and from the U.S. embassy to secure his final travel visa to the States. During those few days, Cory had his first experience with an elevator, escalator, washing machine (he sat in front of the washing machine in the apartment where we were staying and used my flashlight to watch the wash go round and round. He sat through three loads like that!) It was amazing to witness those--and other--such experiences with my new son. Finally, on Saturday last (the 11th) we boarded our KLM flight from Kiev to Amsterdam, with a two-hour layover before our Northwest flight to Minneapolis.
One problem: They "postponed" our AMS-MSP flight for 16 hours for "technical difficulties" (read: pilot decides not to show up), which meant we'd have to either find another way to get to the States, or spend the night in Amsterdam. I'll skip the part where I basically blew up at the KLM official who wouldn't give us boarding passes on a 3/4-full flight to Boston--because he said we didn't have a reservation. (I think I actually used the word "heartless" when I was arguing with him.) We had boarding passes for a delayed flight, but he basically refused to acknowledge that little fact. Okay, so I didn't skp this part. It's good you weren't there (whoever you are) as I would have embarrassed you. I was "that guy" at the gate who basically makes a scene. In any event, we ended up spending a cozy night at a very new, very nice Holiday Inn near the AMS airport.
Sunday we headed out early to the airport to make sure we made it through customs without a hitch. On the plane we go, me completely exhuasted and Cory excited and nervous to be heading to America. I said to myself as I walked down the aisle to our seats in 24A and 24B, This will be nice as Cory can color, play with his toys, and watch 2-3 kids movies on the on-demand video system. So we sit down and a lovely voice comes over the intercom: "Due to technical difficulties, the video system is out of service for our 9.5-hour flight to Minneapolis today...." That's pretty much all I heard, even though she chattered on for a few more minutes about the duty free options, I think. More "technical difficulties"? Did the pilot who failed to show up the day before also decide to sabotage the video system? I know, it sounds so whiny , to get that panicked about no videos for 9.5 hours. But I tell you what, when you are flying internationally with a 6-year-old with the energy of Kathy Lee (is her name still Gifford?) and the stamina of Lance Armstrong, you'll take every diversion you can get. In the end, even though the video system was kaput, Cory and I managed to have a fairly nice, uneventful flight home.
That's when the real excitement started, but I'll save that for my next post....
Off to the orphanage we went. And sure enough, when we arrived for the big occassion of taking him away, he was wearing the sandles I'd bought him a few days before, and some underwear. Seeing him there, waiting to see the clothes I'd bought for him, reminded me of the value of human life in God's eyes. Here's this little guy who literally did not own the clothes on his back (when I dressed him in his new underwear and clothes, the old underwear stayed behind at the orphanage), standing before us just the way the good Lord made him. Literally owning nothing in the world. Not a toy, a shirt, or a pair of pants. Nothing. Yet, here my family and I had travelled half way round the world, spent tens of thousands of dollars, and more than a month of time away from home and hearth, to find, adopt, and bring into our family this little 40-pound, 6-year-old guy who, back to back, is just an inch taller than my 4 year old daughter. But it's not the money, time or travel that marks his worth. His is a value beyond human estimation or demarcation. Naked we enter this world, and naked we leave it. The value comes with us as we enter, and leaves as we depart--everything inanimate accumulated in the middle means nothing really.
Once Cory joined me, things moved very fast--suffice to say we had about four whirlwind days, starting in Mariupol with a two-hour plane flight on a 50s-era Soviet double-prop plane (and I do mean plane, not jet). It was Cory's first flight--which he'll probably never forget because he threw up three times. Did I mention we only had 2.5 sets of clothes? Did I also mention the fact that the cabin was not equipped with any airsick bags? That's right, do the math....
After that inauspicious introduction to the world of commercial flight, Cory and I arrived in Kiev and hit the ground running, to and from the U.S. embassy to secure his final travel visa to the States. During those few days, Cory had his first experience with an elevator, escalator, washing machine (he sat in front of the washing machine in the apartment where we were staying and used my flashlight to watch the wash go round and round. He sat through three loads like that!) It was amazing to witness those--and other--such experiences with my new son. Finally, on Saturday last (the 11th) we boarded our KLM flight from Kiev to Amsterdam, with a two-hour layover before our Northwest flight to Minneapolis.
One problem: They "postponed" our AMS-MSP flight for 16 hours for "technical difficulties" (read: pilot decides not to show up), which meant we'd have to either find another way to get to the States, or spend the night in Amsterdam. I'll skip the part where I basically blew up at the KLM official who wouldn't give us boarding passes on a 3/4-full flight to Boston--because he said we didn't have a reservation. (I think I actually used the word "heartless" when I was arguing with him.) We had boarding passes for a delayed flight, but he basically refused to acknowledge that little fact. Okay, so I didn't skp this part. It's good you weren't there (whoever you are) as I would have embarrassed you. I was "that guy" at the gate who basically makes a scene. In any event, we ended up spending a cozy night at a very new, very nice Holiday Inn near the AMS airport.
Sunday we headed out early to the airport to make sure we made it through customs without a hitch. On the plane we go, me completely exhuasted and Cory excited and nervous to be heading to America. I said to myself as I walked down the aisle to our seats in 24A and 24B, This will be nice as Cory can color, play with his toys, and watch 2-3 kids movies on the on-demand video system. So we sit down and a lovely voice comes over the intercom: "Due to technical difficulties, the video system is out of service for our 9.5-hour flight to Minneapolis today...." That's pretty much all I heard, even though she chattered on for a few more minutes about the duty free options, I think. More "technical difficulties"? Did the pilot who failed to show up the day before also decide to sabotage the video system? I know, it sounds so whiny , to get that panicked about no videos for 9.5 hours. But I tell you what, when you are flying internationally with a 6-year-old with the energy of Kathy Lee (is her name still Gifford?) and the stamina of Lance Armstrong, you'll take every diversion you can get. In the end, even though the video system was kaput, Cory and I managed to have a fairly nice, uneventful flight home.
That's when the real excitement started, but I'll save that for my next post....
Some boys during play time at orphanage
Friday, August 3, 2007
Waiting
I'm down to four days until the 10-day waiting period finishes. It looks like I will be able to pick up Cory from the orphanage next Tuesday morning, August 7, and hopefully be back in Kiev by the eve of August 8, with last paperwork items to do there, finishing by Friday eve. We have our flights booked for Saturday morning, August 11, departing Kiev at 1150am. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we have very little room for error in gathering the proper paperwork starting Tuesday. If we can't get things done at the U.S. embassy by Friday afternoon, it means waiting another "working day" and having to move the flight back to Tuesday August 14.
Cory is doing great, and is learning some English words. He really likes grabbing leaves off the trees when I give him piggy back rides, so that was the first word he learned: LEAF! He's a sharp little guy. I missed visiting on Wednesday and when I showed up on Thursday he literally sprinted from about 30 yards away and jumped into my arms saying Papa, Papa, over and over. The English-speaking helper told me that he thought I wasn't going to adopt him, and he was scared. I was able to have a pretty cool moment with him with the lady translating, and told him I was his Papa, that I would always be his Dad, and he wouldn't have to worry about not having a Mom and Dad. The orphanage worker got teary. It was a great moment. he said to me through the translator, "Papa, you have a beautiful heart." Wow.
Hope to post again this weekend.
Thanks!
Kyle
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Judge Makes It Official!
Hello from Mariupol, Ukraine. It's been a bit difficult to get on line here, and trying to log on through our apartment or a hotel is sort of a laugh. So, I walk 20 minutes to the only internet cafe within 50 miles, where the prompts and Windows text is in Cyrillic. Makes for interesting "guessing" on commands that one normally takes for granted, such as "reply," spell check," etc.! So, forgive me if my spelling is off--funny how much we all depend on the spell checker...
We are officially the proud parents of 6-year-old Cory Yevgen Duncan. Here in eastern Europe, folks have shortened, familiar names based on their birth names. Cory's "nickname" is Jhenya, as I have mentioned, pronounced with a soft J sound like Gigi. He's awesome - we are already in love. He's our son! We have had about 8 visits to the orphanage over the past 8 days, and he has really grown on us, including the three girls. Yesterday, Friday, we went before the judge who officially ruled that we were fit parents and that Jhenya was now our son. A powerful moment.
This morning the girls boarded an early flight back to Kiev on an old Soviet Aeroflot craft, which made me a tad nervous, but I then was able to speak to them at mid-day from their new apartment in downtown Kiev. All is well, thankfully. They fly home Tues, and other than a couple of hours of official paperwork on Monday for Suz, their time is their own. They are hoping to actually see a little bit of the beautiful sites of Kiev.
I have about 11-12 more days here in Mariupol, most of which is simply cooling my jets waiting out the mandatory 10-day waiting period before international adoptions can be approved. This period is no more than a formality, as yesterday, by the judge's decree, Cory became our son. It was a great day. The courthouse was interesting. Actually there was a 1,000 square-foot room with broken tiles, a few benches, and a table and chairs for the judge and his assistant. He asked Suzanne and me a few questions, and seemed genuinely interested in Cory and in our desire to make him our own. It was a simple, fairly quick, yet profound process. There were smiles and hugs all around afterward. Cory was not present in the court, so later we went for our daily visit to the orphanage. Unfortunately, he could not come out and play with the girls as he was struggling with a bit of a fever. So, it made the girls visit more difficult as this was the last time they were to see him until he and I arrive back in the States sometime in mid August. My time is basically my own now, and between visits with Cory, I may visit the Crimean Penninsula for a couple of days. It's called the Greece of the Black Sea.
In retrospect, it's nothing short of amazing to think of how fast the process of finding and adopting Cory has been. We began the process on Wednesday 7/18 with our appointment with the adoption center, and finalized the adoption on Friday, 7/27 - just nine days. Both Igor (our translator) and Yuri (our Ukrainian adoption coordinator) say they've never seen a more stream-lined, fast process. And we KNOW it is a credit to your prayers and the skill of our team here in Ukraine.
Please pray:
- After two intense weeks of paper chasing, etc., please pray that Suzanne and the girls (Emily, Hannah, Kylie and Zoe) have a relaxing, enjoyable time in Kiev and a safe return to U.S.
- health Cory has he recovers from a fever
- health and safety for me as I remain here to wait out the 10 days, and then quick processing of birth certificate here in Mariupol for Jhenya, transportation back to Kiev with Jhenya, and final paperwork "smoothness" with the U.S. embassy
- Bonding time across the language barrier between Jhenya and me as I continue to visit him at the orphanage and travel home with him in a couple weeks.
You have no idea what your prayers and love have meant to us. This has been an amazing journey, and we have seen God's love and guidance so clearly throughout.
And finally: I just learned online that in the late 90s, the National Geographic Society named Mariupol the second most polluted city on the planet. I'm not surprised :)
Love and blessings from the Duncan family.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
More Good News
I am needing to write these dispatches on email, send them to my friend Tim, who then posts them, as I have yet to be able to figure out the Cyrillic translations. It's a beautiful alphabet containing 31 characters, but the trouble is, once you translate the letters to Latin, you then have to also translate the word from Russian to English. Those of you who have been to a Cyrrilic-driven culture know of what I speak.
I just was on the blog re-reading my post from four days ago, and it seems like a lifetime ago. First of all, just to let you know the good news that both Hannah and Suzanne are feeling much better. Emily and I have been trying to give Suz as much sleep as possible while we attend to the kids late at night (when they are too squirrely to go to bed at times!) and in the mornings. Suzanne is regaining strength and doing much better.
Yesterday Emily and H were able to join the rest of us for their first visit to the orphanage to visit Jhenya. It was moving to watch Hannah's expression when she first saw Jhenya, and how she quickly gravitated toward him and proceeded to play with him, Kylie and Zoe for over an hour. Jhenya was his typical jovial, energetic self. It was a great visit.
On the paper chase... we continue to break all sorts of Ukrainian adoption speed records. The big news is that we have our court date with the judge this Friday at 1030 in the morning, which will then allow Suzanne and the girls to return with Igor to Kiev on Saturday, while I stay back to finish up affairs here. Suzanne will then go to government offices on Monday to sign over power of attorney to me. BIG NEWS: Suz and the girls have been confirmed to fly home Tues 7/31, which means they will have been in UKR for just two weeks and a day--truly amazing.
Tomorrow morning Igor will meet privately with the judge to see if he can get the 10-day waiting period waived. If it is waived, it means I will be able to pick up Jhenya from the orphanage and take him back to Kiev next Tuesday (the same day the girls go home). I will need to do the medical exam in Kiev and get a passport for Jhenya, visit the U.S. Embassy, etc. This means that he and I might be able to fly home around Aug 2. If the judge does NOT waive the 10-day waiting period, I will need to stay in Mariupol until the 10 days are up (until Aug 7), and then an additional 3 days or so in Kiev until flying home with Cory Yevgen Duncan (official name on adoption papers) around Aug 11 or 12.
Yesterday we were able to escape to the sea for a day at the beach. Very Long Island looking - saw grass, small dunes, tilting picket fences, interesting sea shells, and green water. It was a very welcome respite from the heat of the city.
Finally, something bizarre and different: A little bat decided to visit us last night, and Igor and I jerry-rigged a plastic jug to catch the little friend and release him outside. It definitely enlived the evening.
Some general observations:
Ukrainians are friendly and honest and straightfoward. We've appreciated that.
Extreme poverty and beauty hold hands comfortably. Fifteen-story Soviet-era block apartments dot the streets like concrete beehives, and everyone emerges in the cool of dusk to buzz and chat, men often stripped to the waist, young women dressed to the nines in mini skirts and high heels, stepping carefully over man-hole sized potholes and empty beer bottles. It's a country of startling contrasts. Beautiful, well-stocked grocery stores equal to those we know. Stroll air-conditioned aisles, grab gelatti on your way out. Walk outside and in the distance loom the smoke stacks of the largest metallurgical plant in Ukraine spewing out tons of waste in the form of ginger-colored smoke. Trash everywhere, cars careening between pedestrians oblivious to the shouts of the drivers. There's a middle class just bursting to emerge from the hive, but still, as with much of the poorer nations of the former Soviet bloc, two classes dominate, lower and upper. Fifty-year-old Lada's putter along next to $100K Lexus SUVs and Land Rovers.
We appreciate your continued prayers for:
- Continued health and safety for the girls
- continued favor with the judges and adoption officials
- waiving of the 10-day waiting period
Thanks much. We appreciate you all.
Kyle
Sunday, July 22, 2007
WE HAVE DECIDED TO ADOPT JHENYA!
Eventually his full name will by Cory Yevgen Duncan, "Yevgen" being his birth name (Eugene), and Jheny being his nickname, which everyone calls him. Please pray we get the best opportunity to share his new name with him. If he gets nervous, we may simply call him Jhenya for a while til he gets used to Cory. Cory means God's peace,' which we felt was apropos.
We visting Jhenya for the first time at the orphange on Friday. When we drove up to the orphanage we were pleasantly surprised to find it to be very clean and nice--some of the orphanages here can be very bleak places. The first thing we noticed, after the clean, nice grounds and play areas, were about 20 little ones in bathing suits taking turns swimming in a little plastic pool. They all looked very healthy and well fed, happy and smiling. A great sign. We then met with the director of the orphanage, and though our translator was interpretting for us, we could tell by her office, demeanor and body language that she was a very professional, warm-hearted person. Very impressive. Igor, our translator, explained to us that this was one of the nicest orphanages he had ever visited in Sonechko (which means little sun).
During the meeting with the director, she explained that Jhenya was a very healthy, smart little boy - a stand-out in the orphange, and that his mother was not an addict of any kind, but rather, she was often out of the country with work, and would just "drop off" Jhenya and his little brother, Oleg, at an orpahange, almost like a long-term daycare. After a while, neighbors and others complained and she then had her parental rights terminated by the court. Jhenya and his brother entered the orphanage in late 2005, so it's been about a year and a half for them. Oleg was recently adopted by a Canadian family, and so there is the possibility, of course, of the brothers being able to see each other in the future, which is a very nice option.
After the meeting with the director, we went out into the play yard and were able to see Jhenya from a distance, just interacting with the other kids naturally, not knowing we were there. He stood out to us as a leader of sorts of the other kids, most of whom were younger than him. He hugged the female worker/teacher several times while we we were watching. Then we approached him and he came up to us as Igor explained to him that we wanted to meet him, etc. He immediately gave us big hugs and said, "I want a momma and papa, and if you do not take me, I will run away and find my own momma, papa and bubushka (grandma). It was classic, and he said it in a funny way rather than sad way. We spent about an hour with him, just chatting, etc. We gave him two small toys that he liked very much. The experience was great, though a bit overwhelming, as you can probably imagine. Here you are with this little guy and in your head you are saying, "Is this our son?" etc. So, we told the workers that we would think and pray and come back again. Later that day, after a great conversaton with our America World rep, Kate, on the phone, we knew that Jhenya was the boy God had picked out for us.It was an amazing moment.
In the meantime, the paperwork side of things has been nothing short of miraculous. I will try to tell the whole story in another entry, but suffice to say that the gov't officilals have been very kind, efficient, and have been doing things for us after hours and even on Sat and Sun! Igor tells us that he has NEVER seen an adoption process go so smoothly. Right now we are just trying to pull together all the necessary adoption papers, which will be airmailed to Kiev on Monday. They will return here to Mariupol on Wed. We are hoping and praying that we will have our court date before the judge on Friday. Igor says it is looking good. If not Friday, then the following Monday. This means that Suzanne and all the girls could possibly be able to travel back to Kiev on in a week (next Mon or Tues), and then head home on Wed or Thurs (9 days or so). If this all falls into place, Igor says it will, literally, be the fastest adoption process he's ever seen, and he's worked with dozens of international families.
A little about Jhenya. We have visited him three times and I can tell you that he is very smart, very strong (a leader), and a bit mischievous, but not cruel, with the other orphans. One of the folks at the orphanage, an Italian woman who is adopting also, and has been there hanging out with the borther and sister she is adopting, said to us, "Oh, Jhenya! He is a wonderful boy - very healthy, unlike some of the kids here. And have you seen him run? He is like Speedy Gonzales. Yesterday an 8 year old boy challenged him to a race and Jhenya gave him a 10 meter head start and still beat him!" We laughed and shook our heads because I ran track and was similar as a kid, and my Dad (grandpa or "Dee" to Jhenya) is a track fanatic. It was really hilarious.
Kylie and Zoe have been able to visit J with us three times, but Hannah has had to stay back due to flu, which she's been fighting for 2.5 days. She is slowly getting better but it's a bit scary when your child is ill and you are staying in a remote city that is the industrial center of the country (very polluted). In any event, that brings me to prayer points:
1. Hannah that she would recover quickly. Full health and no dehydration.
2. Suzanne's health. Suz has had anxiety about Hannah and little sleep, so she is exhausted. She is not feeling well today, so needs prayer for good SLEEP and recovery.
3. That the adoption process would continue to race along at the amazing pace it's been going at so far.
4. That Suz and the rest of the girls can fly home by a week from this Thursday, which is Aug 2, I believe. That would be less than 2 weeks in-country for them, which really would be miraculous. ( I would stay and finish up paperwork, visa and passport stuff, medical exam - about another 10=15 days).
Finally, we could not be able to do this without Emily's help. She has been a godsend and an incredible help. She is doing well, considering that we are in a pretty intense, poor area.
Thanks so much. There is much to talk about but little time between doing this and that. Our major activities revolve around changing money, going to the orphanage, exchanging money, doing paperwork stuff, and thinking about making easy meals in the apt! It's been intense but a great bonding time for the whole family, including Kylie and Zoe, who are healthy and REALLY bonding with Jhenya. (I'll try to post some pics in the next few days - that's a whole different task I have not delved into yet - I hope it's possible.)
Blessings all! We appreciate you so much!
Kyle on behalf of "the girls" and Cory!
We visting Jhenya for the first time at the orphange on Friday. When we drove up to the orphanage we were pleasantly surprised to find it to be very clean and nice--some of the orphanages here can be very bleak places. The first thing we noticed, after the clean, nice grounds and play areas, were about 20 little ones in bathing suits taking turns swimming in a little plastic pool. They all looked very healthy and well fed, happy and smiling. A great sign. We then met with the director of the orphanage, and though our translator was interpretting for us, we could tell by her office, demeanor and body language that she was a very professional, warm-hearted person. Very impressive. Igor, our translator, explained to us that this was one of the nicest orphanages he had ever visited in Sonechko (which means little sun).
During the meeting with the director, she explained that Jhenya was a very healthy, smart little boy - a stand-out in the orphange, and that his mother was not an addict of any kind, but rather, she was often out of the country with work, and would just "drop off" Jhenya and his little brother, Oleg, at an orpahange, almost like a long-term daycare. After a while, neighbors and others complained and she then had her parental rights terminated by the court. Jhenya and his brother entered the orphanage in late 2005, so it's been about a year and a half for them. Oleg was recently adopted by a Canadian family, and so there is the possibility, of course, of the brothers being able to see each other in the future, which is a very nice option.
After the meeting with the director, we went out into the play yard and were able to see Jhenya from a distance, just interacting with the other kids naturally, not knowing we were there. He stood out to us as a leader of sorts of the other kids, most of whom were younger than him. He hugged the female worker/teacher several times while we we were watching. Then we approached him and he came up to us as Igor explained to him that we wanted to meet him, etc. He immediately gave us big hugs and said, "I want a momma and papa, and if you do not take me, I will run away and find my own momma, papa and bubushka (grandma). It was classic, and he said it in a funny way rather than sad way. We spent about an hour with him, just chatting, etc. We gave him two small toys that he liked very much. The experience was great, though a bit overwhelming, as you can probably imagine. Here you are with this little guy and in your head you are saying, "Is this our son?" etc. So, we told the workers that we would think and pray and come back again. Later that day, after a great conversaton with our America World rep, Kate, on the phone, we knew that Jhenya was the boy God had picked out for us.It was an amazing moment.
In the meantime, the paperwork side of things has been nothing short of miraculous. I will try to tell the whole story in another entry, but suffice to say that the gov't officilals have been very kind, efficient, and have been doing things for us after hours and even on Sat and Sun! Igor tells us that he has NEVER seen an adoption process go so smoothly. Right now we are just trying to pull together all the necessary adoption papers, which will be airmailed to Kiev on Monday. They will return here to Mariupol on Wed. We are hoping and praying that we will have our court date before the judge on Friday. Igor says it is looking good. If not Friday, then the following Monday. This means that Suzanne and all the girls could possibly be able to travel back to Kiev on in a week (next Mon or Tues), and then head home on Wed or Thurs (9 days or so). If this all falls into place, Igor says it will, literally, be the fastest adoption process he's ever seen, and he's worked with dozens of international families.
A little about Jhenya. We have visited him three times and I can tell you that he is very smart, very strong (a leader), and a bit mischievous, but not cruel, with the other orphans. One of the folks at the orphanage, an Italian woman who is adopting also, and has been there hanging out with the borther and sister she is adopting, said to us, "Oh, Jhenya! He is a wonderful boy - very healthy, unlike some of the kids here. And have you seen him run? He is like Speedy Gonzales. Yesterday an 8 year old boy challenged him to a race and Jhenya gave him a 10 meter head start and still beat him!" We laughed and shook our heads because I ran track and was similar as a kid, and my Dad (grandpa or "Dee" to Jhenya) is a track fanatic. It was really hilarious.
Kylie and Zoe have been able to visit J with us three times, but Hannah has had to stay back due to flu, which she's been fighting for 2.5 days. She is slowly getting better but it's a bit scary when your child is ill and you are staying in a remote city that is the industrial center of the country (very polluted). In any event, that brings me to prayer points:
1. Hannah that she would recover quickly. Full health and no dehydration.
2. Suzanne's health. Suz has had anxiety about Hannah and little sleep, so she is exhausted. She is not feeling well today, so needs prayer for good SLEEP and recovery.
3. That the adoption process would continue to race along at the amazing pace it's been going at so far.
4. That Suz and the rest of the girls can fly home by a week from this Thursday, which is Aug 2, I believe. That would be less than 2 weeks in-country for them, which really would be miraculous. ( I would stay and finish up paperwork, visa and passport stuff, medical exam - about another 10=15 days).
Finally, we could not be able to do this without Emily's help. She has been a godsend and an incredible help. She is doing well, considering that we are in a pretty intense, poor area.
Thanks so much. There is much to talk about but little time between doing this and that. Our major activities revolve around changing money, going to the orphanage, exchanging money, doing paperwork stuff, and thinking about making easy meals in the apt! It's been intense but a great bonding time for the whole family, including Kylie and Zoe, who are healthy and REALLY bonding with Jhenya. (I'll try to post some pics in the next few days - that's a whole different task I have not delved into yet - I hope it's possible.)
Blessings all! We appreciate you so much!
Kyle on behalf of "the girls" and Cory!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
We have a referral
We went to the state dept. of adoption yesterday at 4pm for our meeting with the govt adoption folks. It went very well. As you all know, we were hoping to see at least 5-6 viable profiels, and we actually were able to look at 8. One boy was too young, another was too old, and a few had some health concerns. So, we had two to choose from and ended up picking a little guy named Yevgen, but they call him Jhenya (jshen-ya). He is six years old, born March 2001, is "friendly, sociable, and a bit stubborn," according to the profile information. Sounds like he'd fit perfectly into our headstrong family! The profiles are very sparse on info, just two pages with an attached 1/2 page medical report. So, here we were, sitting in this little upstairs office in the old part of the city, in a hot, stuffy room with three smiling Ukrainian officials looking at you while you try to decide between two little boys' pictures, with the rest of the profile written in cyrillic! It felt like something out of one of Fellinni's more bizarre films. Sweat's pouring down our heads, and of course at first Suz liked one little guy and I liked another, but after about 10 minutes of private time (we asked to be alone so the officials went in the other room to drink lukewarm coke), we both agreed that \yevgen looked very good. The other little guy had two siblings still living with the mother, and we felt that might get a bit complicated, whereas Jhenya has no siblings with the mother (he has a younger sibling that has already been adopted out to a UKR family). jhenya has a cute, miscievous little grin, brown eyes, dirty blond hair.
So, I am just grabbing some "internet cafe" time before heading back to the apt. to help the gals all pack. We will leave in about 2 hours for the airport and will be flying as there were no overnight train compartments available on such short notice. We will be travelling to a town on the Azov Sea (on a map that's the body of water just east and north of the Black Sea) - the town is Mariupol, and the oprhanage is located just outside this town. Yuri, the Kievite who has been so helpful, actually became a hero to the girls yesterday when he suggested we eat at TGIF's - yes, that's right, rife with chicken fingers, french fries, English menus and lemodade! uri will not be going with us, but an associate named Igor (yes, that's correcvt, an assistant named Igor!) will be taking us to Mariupol, and will serve as our red-tape cutter, coordinator, translator, etc. And no, he does not have a hump! He actually looks like a model (according to the girls!).We should get into Mariupol this evening by midnight, as we have to fly to Donyetsk, which is about 60 minutes van ride from Mariupol. Tomorrow we hope to be able to see Yevgen - that is why we are in sort of a rush: if we don't see him tomorrow, we will have to wait til Monday as they don't do visits on the weekend. We are very excited and lookingforward to finally moving into this next phase. And just because we have accepted this referral does not mean tha we necessarily have to adopt this child. We will see - need to meet him, spend time with him, etc. and because we are near the sea, we will probably be able to have some R&R this weekend at a beach about 50 minutes from Mariupol - Igor says the water is beautiful there, whereas Mariupol is sort of like a Long Beach or San Pedro - port city.
The girls are all doing well. No sickness or any "bad" things of any sort, which has been a real blessing. Emily is so helpful, and has really been a trooper, watching the girls yesterday for about 3 hours while Suz and I went to the SDA.
I hope to post over the weekend. Thanks for your lvoe an prayers as we go to visit Yevgen tomorrow!
Das Vy'Danya
Kyle
So, I am just grabbing some "internet cafe" time before heading back to the apt. to help the gals all pack. We will leave in about 2 hours for the airport and will be flying as there were no overnight train compartments available on such short notice. We will be travelling to a town on the Azov Sea (on a map that's the body of water just east and north of the Black Sea) - the town is Mariupol, and the oprhanage is located just outside this town. Yuri, the Kievite who has been so helpful, actually became a hero to the girls yesterday when he suggested we eat at TGIF's - yes, that's right, rife with chicken fingers, french fries, English menus and lemodade! uri will not be going with us, but an associate named Igor (yes, that's correcvt, an assistant named Igor!) will be taking us to Mariupol, and will serve as our red-tape cutter, coordinator, translator, etc. And no, he does not have a hump! He actually looks like a model (according to the girls!).We should get into Mariupol this evening by midnight, as we have to fly to Donyetsk, which is about 60 minutes van ride from Mariupol. Tomorrow we hope to be able to see Yevgen - that is why we are in sort of a rush: if we don't see him tomorrow, we will have to wait til Monday as they don't do visits on the weekend. We are very excited and lookingforward to finally moving into this next phase. And just because we have accepted this referral does not mean tha we necessarily have to adopt this child. We will see - need to meet him, spend time with him, etc. and because we are near the sea, we will probably be able to have some R&R this weekend at a beach about 50 minutes from Mariupol - Igor says the water is beautiful there, whereas Mariupol is sort of like a Long Beach or San Pedro - port city.
The girls are all doing well. No sickness or any "bad" things of any sort, which has been a real blessing. Emily is so helpful, and has really been a trooper, watching the girls yesterday for about 3 hours while Suz and I went to the SDA.
I hope to post over the weekend. Thanks for your lvoe an prayers as we go to visit Yevgen tomorrow!
Das Vy'Danya
Kyle
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Safe Arrival
We made it safe! I'm at a cyber cafe while all the girls are still sleeping. We are all well, and have a very nice apartment just off the main square in downtown Kiev. We had no problems with air travel except for an hour delay out of Mn, but otherwise, things have gone very smoothly so far.
Wed. at 3pm UKR time Suz and I will meet with the officials at the national adoption center. Please be praying that our appointment goes well and that they will have ample profiles available for boys 5-7 in good health. Our hope is that one profile will just jump out at us. Once we think we have a good potential profile, Yuri, our man on the ground here (who is a great guy - spent two summers working as a counselor at Mount Hermon Christian Camp in Santa Cruz, Ca (bizarre, huh?), will arrange for our trip to the orphanage, wherever it might be located - most likely more than 3 hours from Kiev. Most folks take a sleeper train overnight, but because there will be seven of us, it might be more economical to rent a van.
Please pray for favor tomorrow with the adoption center, no illness for our crew, and swift approval from the adoption center of whatever boy we want to go visit (they will issue us a referral, which we will need in order to go visit an orphanage).
We can't thank you enough for your prayers and love--we can feel them and know that God's going to continue to direct us, just as He has since we first decided to go for the adoption (more than two years ago).
More later!
Kyle
Wed. at 3pm UKR time Suz and I will meet with the officials at the national adoption center. Please be praying that our appointment goes well and that they will have ample profiles available for boys 5-7 in good health. Our hope is that one profile will just jump out at us. Once we think we have a good potential profile, Yuri, our man on the ground here (who is a great guy - spent two summers working as a counselor at Mount Hermon Christian Camp in Santa Cruz, Ca (bizarre, huh?), will arrange for our trip to the orphanage, wherever it might be located - most likely more than 3 hours from Kiev. Most folks take a sleeper train overnight, but because there will be seven of us, it might be more economical to rent a van.
Please pray for favor tomorrow with the adoption center, no illness for our crew, and swift approval from the adoption center of whatever boy we want to go visit (they will issue us a referral, which we will need in order to go visit an orphanage).
We can't thank you enough for your prayers and love--we can feel them and know that God's going to continue to direct us, just as He has since we first decided to go for the adoption (more than two years ago).
More later!
Kyle
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Three days and counting
I'm trying to imagine all six of us actually boarding that KLM flight on Sunday night at 9PM, but with all we have to do between now and then, and only about 68 hours in which to do it all... well, it will be interesting. The good news is that we have all our paperwork in order and all the "big" stuff. But you know what they say about the details... In any event, our excitement and anticipation grows each day, and I am simply trying to parse out the important tasks that need to be done in the amount of time we have to do them.
Our itinerary:
--Depart Minneapolis Sunday at 9:40pm; lay over in Amsterdam and then arrive in Kiev Monday around 2pm
--Meet with national adoption center staff on Wednesday, July 18 at 10:30AM, which is 8 hours ahead of Central Time, or 2:30AM CST, 3:30AM ET, and 12:30AM PST.
--Hopefully head out of Kiev within a few days of Wednesday the 18th to visit a prospective child.
Thanks for your prayers for smooth preparations and travel, with no illness or delays.
I'll try to post again right before we leave or right after we arrive.
Our itinerary:
--Depart Minneapolis Sunday at 9:40pm; lay over in Amsterdam and then arrive in Kiev Monday around 2pm
--Meet with national adoption center staff on Wednesday, July 18 at 10:30AM, which is 8 hours ahead of Central Time, or 2:30AM CST, 3:30AM ET, and 12:30AM PST.
--Hopefully head out of Kiev within a few days of Wednesday the 18th to visit a prospective child.
Thanks for your prayers for smooth preparations and travel, with no illness or delays.
I'll try to post again right before we leave or right after we arrive.
Cheers,
Kyle
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Ukraine Bound
On May 16 we received the news that our adoption application has been approved by the Ukrainian government. On July 15 Suzanne, our three girls, and my 20-year-old niece, Emily, will board a plan for Kiev to go pick up our son. This is a huge relief for us after 20 months of paper chasing across four states and as many time zones, four home study visits, and countless prayers. We don’t know who the boy is yet, but we are hoping for a child between 5 and 6 years old. We will probably be there about a month, and hope to be back by August 15.
That’s the quick story, so if you’re short on time, you can stop reading. For those wanting more info, read on….
Duncan Adoption FAQ
What’s the big picture?
We have talked about adopting a boy since late 2001. However, it took us about four years before we really felt at peace about it and had enough perspective to know we were doing it for the right reasons. So, in October 2005 we started the adoption process.
Why a boy between the ages of 5 and 6?
We just felt led to adopt a boy who would “fit” into the birth order of our family, and since there’s a five-year gap between 3-year-old Zoë and 8-year-old Kylie, we felt that 5-6 was the perfect age. As much as is possible, we are going in with our eyes open, knowing that adopting an older child comes with its own unique set of risks. But life is risky, and for us, this makes a lot of sense.
Why Ukraine?
That’s a long story, but a good one. Suffice to say, Suzanne had a dream in 2004 about adopting from Ukraine. It was totally random but it planted a seed in her heart, which grew and blossomed and by spring 2005, the idea had bloomed for me too. It took me a little longer to make the adoption decision than it did Suzanne, but by May 2005 I knew it was what we were supposed to do.
How does the process work?
In Ukraine, you actually get to select the child you wish to adopt. Here is the process (streamlined a bit for space):
1. On Wednesday, July 18 in Kiev we will appear before a judge to state our reasons for adopting, etc.
2. After that, we will visit the national center for adoptions where a government official will meet show us a stack of child profiles that fit our family’s dossier.
3. Once we look through the profiles, which contain each child’s picture and history (medical, family, etc.), we then choose one of these children as possible adoption candidates.
4. From there, we travel by train to the specific orphanage where that particular child lives, and meet him in person.
5. If the child at the orphanage is not a match, for whatever reason, we return to the national adoption center in Kiev and start over with step 2.
6. If it seems like a match, we will spend several days getting to know the child, and then go before the local judge to finalize the papers.
7. At this point, there is typically a 10-day waiting period to ensure a good match.
8. After the waiting period we return with our child to Kiev, procure legalization documents and passport at the U.S. Embassy, and return to the U.S.
How long will you be in Ukraine?
The process can take anywhere from three to six weeks, with the average adoption taking four weeks. Why so long? It sometimes takes a family three or four visits to different orphanages to find the child that matches their family. And in a nation as big as the state of Texas, that means a return trip to Kiev every time an orphanage doesn’t work out to start Step #2 again. Also, as mentioned, there is a 10-day waiting period once you have found your child.
Why are you taking the entire family, including your niece?
We thought and prayed about this for a long time, but decided that since this is a decision that is going to forever change the dynamics of our family, it should be a journey that includes every member. As well, we want our future son to be able to meet his prospective siblings. Emily, my niece, is coming to help us watch the girls and basically serve as our nanny. This way, she gets a free trip to Eastern Europe, and we lose the worry of having to drag the kids to government offices for hours at a time.
Since your son will be older, will you let him keep his birth name?
Another great question; and the honest answer is we don’t yet know. It will depend a lot upon our son, and what his name is. If it’s something as easy to pronounce as, say, Ivan or Sasha, we will probably keep it. If it’s not an easy name for Americans to handle, then we will probably choose another name, and keep his original as the middle name. We’ll just have to wait and see.
What about the language barrier?
The great thing is that our adoption agency, America World, has a representative in Ukraine who will be assigned to our case the entire trip. This means that Yuri, our representative, will serve as our liaison, translator, travel planner, red-tape cutter, etc. Once we leave Ukraine, of course, the language barrier is going to be a bigger issue, but between language dictionaries and our son’s ability to pick up English, we are not overly concerned. In talking with other parents who have adopted older non English-speaking children, most pick up English very rapidly—becoming fluent in as little as six months.
Is it safe to travel to Ukraine?
The nation of Ukraine has been undergoing a stressful period of change, with pro-Western politicians wrestling for control with more Russian-focused factions. The good news is that just last week both sides agreed to new parliamentary elections in late September, greatly easing tensions and fears of possible violence in the country. Like any country, Ukraine has the typical problems of crime and theft, so prudence and caution will be the key words for us. And of course, the further out of the larger cities you go, the safer things become. But right now a place such as Moscow is much more dangerous than a city like Kiev. Both Suzanne and I are seasoned international travelers, having been to more than 35 nations between us, including trips to Central America, South America, Western Europe, the Middle East, North Africa, and Asia.
Where will you stay and how will you get around?
America World is securing an apartment for us in the heart of Kiev that will serve as our base of operations. They are good at what they do, and have been arranging accommodations for adoptive-minded Americans for years. In terms of travel, we’ve been advised not to rent a car, so we will have the adventure of taking trains, subways, buses and taxis, which the girls are excited about. And like most of Europe, trains are the heart of public transportation, and serve every region of the nation.
Um, are you guys crazy?
Probably. I can tell you one thing, there is absolutely no way we can be accused of living within our comfort zone right now! And that’s both a terrifying and incredibly exciting experience. Frankly, I can’t wait to start this new chapter, even though it’s going to be fraught with challenges and difficulties—as well as unexpected joys and surprises.
What can I do to help?
Pray for us. We really do ask that you cover us in your prayers, specifically for safe travel, favor with the Ukrainian government, success in finding our son, and no complications for the return home.
We’ll try to provide updates along the way.
Thanks so much,
Kyle, Suzanne, Hannah, Kylie and Zoë
That’s the quick story, so if you’re short on time, you can stop reading. For those wanting more info, read on….
Duncan Adoption FAQ
What’s the big picture?
We have talked about adopting a boy since late 2001. However, it took us about four years before we really felt at peace about it and had enough perspective to know we were doing it for the right reasons. So, in October 2005 we started the adoption process.
Why a boy between the ages of 5 and 6?
We just felt led to adopt a boy who would “fit” into the birth order of our family, and since there’s a five-year gap between 3-year-old Zoë and 8-year-old Kylie, we felt that 5-6 was the perfect age. As much as is possible, we are going in with our eyes open, knowing that adopting an older child comes with its own unique set of risks. But life is risky, and for us, this makes a lot of sense.
Why Ukraine?
That’s a long story, but a good one. Suffice to say, Suzanne had a dream in 2004 about adopting from Ukraine. It was totally random but it planted a seed in her heart, which grew and blossomed and by spring 2005, the idea had bloomed for me too. It took me a little longer to make the adoption decision than it did Suzanne, but by May 2005 I knew it was what we were supposed to do.
How does the process work?
In Ukraine, you actually get to select the child you wish to adopt. Here is the process (streamlined a bit for space):
1. On Wednesday, July 18 in Kiev we will appear before a judge to state our reasons for adopting, etc.
2. After that, we will visit the national center for adoptions where a government official will meet show us a stack of child profiles that fit our family’s dossier.
3. Once we look through the profiles, which contain each child’s picture and history (medical, family, etc.), we then choose one of these children as possible adoption candidates.
4. From there, we travel by train to the specific orphanage where that particular child lives, and meet him in person.
5. If the child at the orphanage is not a match, for whatever reason, we return to the national adoption center in Kiev and start over with step 2.
6. If it seems like a match, we will spend several days getting to know the child, and then go before the local judge to finalize the papers.
7. At this point, there is typically a 10-day waiting period to ensure a good match.
8. After the waiting period we return with our child to Kiev, procure legalization documents and passport at the U.S. Embassy, and return to the U.S.
How long will you be in Ukraine?
The process can take anywhere from three to six weeks, with the average adoption taking four weeks. Why so long? It sometimes takes a family three or four visits to different orphanages to find the child that matches their family. And in a nation as big as the state of Texas, that means a return trip to Kiev every time an orphanage doesn’t work out to start Step #2 again. Also, as mentioned, there is a 10-day waiting period once you have found your child.
Why are you taking the entire family, including your niece?
We thought and prayed about this for a long time, but decided that since this is a decision that is going to forever change the dynamics of our family, it should be a journey that includes every member. As well, we want our future son to be able to meet his prospective siblings. Emily, my niece, is coming to help us watch the girls and basically serve as our nanny. This way, she gets a free trip to Eastern Europe, and we lose the worry of having to drag the kids to government offices for hours at a time.
Since your son will be older, will you let him keep his birth name?
Another great question; and the honest answer is we don’t yet know. It will depend a lot upon our son, and what his name is. If it’s something as easy to pronounce as, say, Ivan or Sasha, we will probably keep it. If it’s not an easy name for Americans to handle, then we will probably choose another name, and keep his original as the middle name. We’ll just have to wait and see.
What about the language barrier?
The great thing is that our adoption agency, America World, has a representative in Ukraine who will be assigned to our case the entire trip. This means that Yuri, our representative, will serve as our liaison, translator, travel planner, red-tape cutter, etc. Once we leave Ukraine, of course, the language barrier is going to be a bigger issue, but between language dictionaries and our son’s ability to pick up English, we are not overly concerned. In talking with other parents who have adopted older non English-speaking children, most pick up English very rapidly—becoming fluent in as little as six months.
Is it safe to travel to Ukraine?
The nation of Ukraine has been undergoing a stressful period of change, with pro-Western politicians wrestling for control with more Russian-focused factions. The good news is that just last week both sides agreed to new parliamentary elections in late September, greatly easing tensions and fears of possible violence in the country. Like any country, Ukraine has the typical problems of crime and theft, so prudence and caution will be the key words for us. And of course, the further out of the larger cities you go, the safer things become. But right now a place such as Moscow is much more dangerous than a city like Kiev. Both Suzanne and I are seasoned international travelers, having been to more than 35 nations between us, including trips to Central America, South America, Western Europe, the Middle East, North Africa, and Asia.
Where will you stay and how will you get around?
America World is securing an apartment for us in the heart of Kiev that will serve as our base of operations. They are good at what they do, and have been arranging accommodations for adoptive-minded Americans for years. In terms of travel, we’ve been advised not to rent a car, so we will have the adventure of taking trains, subways, buses and taxis, which the girls are excited about. And like most of Europe, trains are the heart of public transportation, and serve every region of the nation.
Um, are you guys crazy?
Probably. I can tell you one thing, there is absolutely no way we can be accused of living within our comfort zone right now! And that’s both a terrifying and incredibly exciting experience. Frankly, I can’t wait to start this new chapter, even though it’s going to be fraught with challenges and difficulties—as well as unexpected joys and surprises.
What can I do to help?
Pray for us. We really do ask that you cover us in your prayers, specifically for safe travel, favor with the Ukrainian government, success in finding our son, and no complications for the return home.
We’ll try to provide updates along the way.
Thanks so much,
Kyle, Suzanne, Hannah, Kylie and Zoë
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Welcome to Ukraizy
Thanks for visiting the Duncan Ukraine adoption blog. Our goal is to keep you updated on our progress and journey as we count down the next 30 days until we leave, post notes during our trip, and provide reports upon our return.
Thanks for being here!
Kyle, Suzanne and the girls
Thanks for being here!
Kyle, Suzanne and the girls
Love and Duty
I keenly enjoy late 19th/early 20th century English and American fiction, highlighted by the literary quartet of Maugham, James, Fitzgerald and Hemingway. There's a broken down, broken apart passion that cloaks their protagonists which I find attractive and encouraging. Perhaps it's because characters like Walter Fane from The Painted Veil carry on through tragic circumstances, sometimes made the fool or cuckold (by their own doing or another's), yet there's an emergence of grace and honor that buoys them up in--and sometimes over--the darkness of their lives. There's a line in The Painted Veil that I had forgotten about, having not read the novel for probably 20 years. But yesterday while flying home from San Diego on business I watched the latest--the third, I believe--film adaptation of Maugham's classic novel. Toward the end, when Kitty has realized that she actually does love her husband, Walter, the mother superior of the local convent in this remote Chinese village says, in response to Kitty's (disingenous) claim that sticking with her husband has to do with duty,
"Remember that it is nothing to do your duty, that is demanded of you and is no more meritorious than to wash your hands when they are dirty; the only thing that counts is the love of duty; when love and duty are one, then grace is in you and you will enjoy a happiness which passes all understanding."
Love, duty, and grace.
As we are exactly one month from leaving for Ukraine to "pick up" our son, these three words bring on new meaning for me. Frightened? Of course. Excited? Yes, definitely. But something really turned inside me yesterday when watching this excellent film adaptation of a lush, beautiful novel. First, I'd be hard-pressed to find a "younger" actor I respect more than Edward Norton, whose depiction of bacteriologist Walter Fane is spot on. Between Norton and Forrest Whittaker, you have the two best pure under-45 male actors in film today. But I digress. The main thing that hit me was this odd, 2-year journey we've been on to finally get to a place to actually adopt. It's surreal, and larger than life. Overwhelming. Sort of like that hour before going on stage for the big show, or onto the field or court for the big game or match--it's such an "existential" moment that somehow, well, seems unreal. Like it's so big and momentous that you can't imagine yourself doing it. But you count on your training, practice and timing, and go for it, despite the fears and uncertaintly.
Love mixed with duty. God, provide the grace.
Lift not the painted veil which those who liveCall Life: though unreal shapes be pictured there,
And it but mimic all we would believe
With colors idly spread, – behind, lurk Fear
And Hope, twin Destinies; who ever weave
Their shadows, o’er the chasm, sightless and drear….
from “Lift Not the Painted Veil” by Percy Bysshe Shelley
"Remember that it is nothing to do your duty, that is demanded of you and is no more meritorious than to wash your hands when they are dirty; the only thing that counts is the love of duty; when love and duty are one, then grace is in you and you will enjoy a happiness which passes all understanding."
Love, duty, and grace.
As we are exactly one month from leaving for Ukraine to "pick up" our son, these three words bring on new meaning for me. Frightened? Of course. Excited? Yes, definitely. But something really turned inside me yesterday when watching this excellent film adaptation of a lush, beautiful novel. First, I'd be hard-pressed to find a "younger" actor I respect more than Edward Norton, whose depiction of bacteriologist Walter Fane is spot on. Between Norton and Forrest Whittaker, you have the two best pure under-45 male actors in film today. But I digress. The main thing that hit me was this odd, 2-year journey we've been on to finally get to a place to actually adopt. It's surreal, and larger than life. Overwhelming. Sort of like that hour before going on stage for the big show, or onto the field or court for the big game or match--it's such an "existential" moment that somehow, well, seems unreal. Like it's so big and momentous that you can't imagine yourself doing it. But you count on your training, practice and timing, and go for it, despite the fears and uncertaintly.
Love mixed with duty. God, provide the grace.
Lift not the painted veil which those who live
And it but mimic all we would believe
With colors idly spread, – behind, lurk Fear
And Hope, twin Destinies; who ever weave
Their shadows, o’er the chasm, sightless and drear….
from “Lift Not the Painted Veil” by Percy Bysshe Shelley
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