On May 16 we received the news that our adoption application has been approved by the Ukrainian government. On July 15 Suzanne, our three girls, and my 20-year-old niece, Emily, will board a plan for Kiev to go pick up our son. This is a huge relief for us after 20 months of paper chasing across four states and as many time zones, four home study visits, and countless prayers. We don’t know who the boy is yet, but we are hoping for a child between 5 and 6 years old. We will probably be there about a month, and hope to be back by August 15.
That’s the quick story, so if you’re short on time, you can stop reading. For those wanting more info, read on….
Duncan Adoption FAQ
What’s the big picture?
We have talked about adopting a boy since late 2001. However, it took us about four years before we really felt at peace about it and had enough perspective to know we were doing it for the right reasons. So, in October 2005 we started the adoption process.
Why a boy between the ages of 5 and 6?
We just felt led to adopt a boy who would “fit” into the birth order of our family, and since there’s a five-year gap between 3-year-old Zoë and 8-year-old Kylie, we felt that 5-6 was the perfect age. As much as is possible, we are going in with our eyes open, knowing that adopting an older child comes with its own unique set of risks. But life is risky, and for us, this makes a lot of sense.
Why Ukraine?
That’s a long story, but a good one. Suffice to say, Suzanne had a dream in 2004 about adopting from Ukraine. It was totally random but it planted a seed in her heart, which grew and blossomed and by spring 2005, the idea had bloomed for me too. It took me a little longer to make the adoption decision than it did Suzanne, but by May 2005 I knew it was what we were supposed to do.
How does the process work?
In Ukraine, you actually get to select the child you wish to adopt. Here is the process (streamlined a bit for space):
1. On Wednesday, July 18 in Kiev we will appear before a judge to state our reasons for adopting, etc.
2. After that, we will visit the national center for adoptions where a government official will meet show us a stack of child profiles that fit our family’s dossier.
3. Once we look through the profiles, which contain each child’s picture and history (medical, family, etc.), we then choose one of these children as possible adoption candidates.
4. From there, we travel by train to the specific orphanage where that particular child lives, and meet him in person.
5. If the child at the orphanage is not a match, for whatever reason, we return to the national adoption center in Kiev and start over with step 2.
6. If it seems like a match, we will spend several days getting to know the child, and then go before the local judge to finalize the papers.
7. At this point, there is typically a 10-day waiting period to ensure a good match.
8. After the waiting period we return with our child to Kiev, procure legalization documents and passport at the U.S. Embassy, and return to the U.S.
How long will you be in Ukraine?
The process can take anywhere from three to six weeks, with the average adoption taking four weeks. Why so long? It sometimes takes a family three or four visits to different orphanages to find the child that matches their family. And in a nation as big as the state of Texas, that means a return trip to Kiev every time an orphanage doesn’t work out to start Step #2 again. Also, as mentioned, there is a 10-day waiting period once you have found your child.
Why are you taking the entire family, including your niece?
We thought and prayed about this for a long time, but decided that since this is a decision that is going to forever change the dynamics of our family, it should be a journey that includes every member. As well, we want our future son to be able to meet his prospective siblings. Emily, my niece, is coming to help us watch the girls and basically serve as our nanny. This way, she gets a free trip to Eastern Europe, and we lose the worry of having to drag the kids to government offices for hours at a time.
Since your son will be older, will you let him keep his birth name?
Another great question; and the honest answer is we don’t yet know. It will depend a lot upon our son, and what his name is. If it’s something as easy to pronounce as, say, Ivan or Sasha, we will probably keep it. If it’s not an easy name for Americans to handle, then we will probably choose another name, and keep his original as the middle name. We’ll just have to wait and see.
What about the language barrier?
The great thing is that our adoption agency, America World, has a representative in Ukraine who will be assigned to our case the entire trip. This means that Yuri, our representative, will serve as our liaison, translator, travel planner, red-tape cutter, etc. Once we leave Ukraine, of course, the language barrier is going to be a bigger issue, but between language dictionaries and our son’s ability to pick up English, we are not overly concerned. In talking with other parents who have adopted older non English-speaking children, most pick up English very rapidly—becoming fluent in as little as six months.
Is it safe to travel to Ukraine?
The nation of Ukraine has been undergoing a stressful period of change, with pro-Western politicians wrestling for control with more Russian-focused factions. The good news is that just last week both sides agreed to new parliamentary elections in late September, greatly easing tensions and fears of possible violence in the country. Like any country, Ukraine has the typical problems of crime and theft, so prudence and caution will be the key words for us. And of course, the further out of the larger cities you go, the safer things become. But right now a place such as Moscow is much more dangerous than a city like Kiev. Both Suzanne and I are seasoned international travelers, having been to more than 35 nations between us, including trips to Central America, South America, Western Europe, the Middle East, North Africa, and Asia.
Where will you stay and how will you get around?
America World is securing an apartment for us in the heart of Kiev that will serve as our base of operations. They are good at what they do, and have been arranging accommodations for adoptive-minded Americans for years. In terms of travel, we’ve been advised not to rent a car, so we will have the adventure of taking trains, subways, buses and taxis, which the girls are excited about. And like most of Europe, trains are the heart of public transportation, and serve every region of the nation.
Um, are you guys crazy?
Probably. I can tell you one thing, there is absolutely no way we can be accused of living within our comfort zone right now! And that’s both a terrifying and incredibly exciting experience. Frankly, I can’t wait to start this new chapter, even though it’s going to be fraught with challenges and difficulties—as well as unexpected joys and surprises.
What can I do to help?
Pray for us. We really do ask that you cover us in your prayers, specifically for safe travel, favor with the Ukrainian government, success in finding our son, and no complications for the return home.
We’ll try to provide updates along the way.
Thanks so much,
Kyle, Suzanne, Hannah, Kylie and Zoë
That’s the quick story, so if you’re short on time, you can stop reading. For those wanting more info, read on….
Duncan Adoption FAQ
What’s the big picture?
We have talked about adopting a boy since late 2001. However, it took us about four years before we really felt at peace about it and had enough perspective to know we were doing it for the right reasons. So, in October 2005 we started the adoption process.
Why a boy between the ages of 5 and 6?
We just felt led to adopt a boy who would “fit” into the birth order of our family, and since there’s a five-year gap between 3-year-old Zoë and 8-year-old Kylie, we felt that 5-6 was the perfect age. As much as is possible, we are going in with our eyes open, knowing that adopting an older child comes with its own unique set of risks. But life is risky, and for us, this makes a lot of sense.
Why Ukraine?
That’s a long story, but a good one. Suffice to say, Suzanne had a dream in 2004 about adopting from Ukraine. It was totally random but it planted a seed in her heart, which grew and blossomed and by spring 2005, the idea had bloomed for me too. It took me a little longer to make the adoption decision than it did Suzanne, but by May 2005 I knew it was what we were supposed to do.
How does the process work?
In Ukraine, you actually get to select the child you wish to adopt. Here is the process (streamlined a bit for space):
1. On Wednesday, July 18 in Kiev we will appear before a judge to state our reasons for adopting, etc.
2. After that, we will visit the national center for adoptions where a government official will meet show us a stack of child profiles that fit our family’s dossier.
3. Once we look through the profiles, which contain each child’s picture and history (medical, family, etc.), we then choose one of these children as possible adoption candidates.
4. From there, we travel by train to the specific orphanage where that particular child lives, and meet him in person.
5. If the child at the orphanage is not a match, for whatever reason, we return to the national adoption center in Kiev and start over with step 2.
6. If it seems like a match, we will spend several days getting to know the child, and then go before the local judge to finalize the papers.
7. At this point, there is typically a 10-day waiting period to ensure a good match.
8. After the waiting period we return with our child to Kiev, procure legalization documents and passport at the U.S. Embassy, and return to the U.S.
How long will you be in Ukraine?
The process can take anywhere from three to six weeks, with the average adoption taking four weeks. Why so long? It sometimes takes a family three or four visits to different orphanages to find the child that matches their family. And in a nation as big as the state of Texas, that means a return trip to Kiev every time an orphanage doesn’t work out to start Step #2 again. Also, as mentioned, there is a 10-day waiting period once you have found your child.
Why are you taking the entire family, including your niece?
We thought and prayed about this for a long time, but decided that since this is a decision that is going to forever change the dynamics of our family, it should be a journey that includes every member. As well, we want our future son to be able to meet his prospective siblings. Emily, my niece, is coming to help us watch the girls and basically serve as our nanny. This way, she gets a free trip to Eastern Europe, and we lose the worry of having to drag the kids to government offices for hours at a time.
Since your son will be older, will you let him keep his birth name?
Another great question; and the honest answer is we don’t yet know. It will depend a lot upon our son, and what his name is. If it’s something as easy to pronounce as, say, Ivan or Sasha, we will probably keep it. If it’s not an easy name for Americans to handle, then we will probably choose another name, and keep his original as the middle name. We’ll just have to wait and see.
What about the language barrier?
The great thing is that our adoption agency, America World, has a representative in Ukraine who will be assigned to our case the entire trip. This means that Yuri, our representative, will serve as our liaison, translator, travel planner, red-tape cutter, etc. Once we leave Ukraine, of course, the language barrier is going to be a bigger issue, but between language dictionaries and our son’s ability to pick up English, we are not overly concerned. In talking with other parents who have adopted older non English-speaking children, most pick up English very rapidly—becoming fluent in as little as six months.
Is it safe to travel to Ukraine?
The nation of Ukraine has been undergoing a stressful period of change, with pro-Western politicians wrestling for control with more Russian-focused factions. The good news is that just last week both sides agreed to new parliamentary elections in late September, greatly easing tensions and fears of possible violence in the country. Like any country, Ukraine has the typical problems of crime and theft, so prudence and caution will be the key words for us. And of course, the further out of the larger cities you go, the safer things become. But right now a place such as Moscow is much more dangerous than a city like Kiev. Both Suzanne and I are seasoned international travelers, having been to more than 35 nations between us, including trips to Central America, South America, Western Europe, the Middle East, North Africa, and Asia.
Where will you stay and how will you get around?
America World is securing an apartment for us in the heart of Kiev that will serve as our base of operations. They are good at what they do, and have been arranging accommodations for adoptive-minded Americans for years. In terms of travel, we’ve been advised not to rent a car, so we will have the adventure of taking trains, subways, buses and taxis, which the girls are excited about. And like most of Europe, trains are the heart of public transportation, and serve every region of the nation.
Um, are you guys crazy?
Probably. I can tell you one thing, there is absolutely no way we can be accused of living within our comfort zone right now! And that’s both a terrifying and incredibly exciting experience. Frankly, I can’t wait to start this new chapter, even though it’s going to be fraught with challenges and difficulties—as well as unexpected joys and surprises.
What can I do to help?
Pray for us. We really do ask that you cover us in your prayers, specifically for safe travel, favor with the Ukrainian government, success in finding our son, and no complications for the return home.
We’ll try to provide updates along the way.
Thanks so much,
Kyle, Suzanne, Hannah, Kylie and Zoë
